Barely over two weeks from being licensed, I received a phone call for a placement at 11am on a Friday. I had received 2 calls before, but when I received this one, I just knew I would get this one.
The placement was confirmed at 4:30. There was some confusion as to when he would come, tonight, Monday, Tuesday... So I pulled out some fabric to make a blanket. It would be the first time I'd sewed anything in years, but when he came, I wanted to have a handmade blanket that I'd made just for him. No sooner had drug out all of the sewing stuff that they called to say they would be there at 8:30. I put it all back away and then pulled out all of the baby clothes.
The case worker arrived from my agency. She started going over paperwork. Then my most wonderful sister-in-law arrived with my 8-year old niece and a football snowsuit for baby (actually a warm suit, we live in south Texas, after all!). Soon the CPS caseworker arrived with a little baby in a car seat that overwhelmed his tiny body.
We filled out some more paperwork while my SIL held the baby and oohed and aahed over him and changed his diaper which almost turned out to be disastrous. While preparing for baby I had tried to think of everything I might need. Diaper rash cream, baby bathtub, bottles, toys, brush, clothes, sheets, towels, etc. I forgot to buy wipes. Only the fourth most important item after bottles, formula and diapers. Who forgets about wipes?? And when you need them, you NEED them. Thankfully, my caseworker in her preparation of a gift bag had included wipes. Crisis averted and I was glad to not have to make a late-night Walmart run!
The caseworkers left. My sister-in-law stayed. We talked about foster care, paperwork and babies for hours. She gave me tons of advice which helped calm my overwhelmed heart. My niece sat by the baby and rocked him while we talked. She is so patient and sweet. A while later the baby was asleep and I wondered where my niece was, she was passed out on the recliner, I was 11:30, poor girl. How lucky am I to have family to spend their Friday evening helping me. They left and I picked up the crying baby. I rocked him and wondered what I got myself into.
My mom came the next day with several outfits and toys. She held the baby and I asked her a bunch of questions. I felt so small with such a huge job. My mom is good at being a mom. She raised 13 perfectly wonderful human beings. She is kind, patient, hard-working and just a really good person. I know I am nowhere near the woman she is, but I hope that I can still do good.
I'd say I'm getting the hang of being a mom. I'm also doing ok at completing all of the paperwork. Despite the sleepless nights, the doubts, the tears, I wouldn't trade one moment of this all. This is the greatest choice I've ever made. I know I'll never regret it although I'll be heartbroken when he leaves. I also know I'll be so happy knowing that I got to have him for a while and that he was loved well while he was with me.
Friday, May 6, 2016
The Mother
And there she was. So normal looking. She was talking to her son like any mom. I wondered if, when and how this introduction would go. She actually doesn't know my name or anything about me, but I know her.
On paper.
But what is put down on paper really limits what we see of a person. Sure, we've all made mistakes, but don't we all want a second chance?
In some of my interactions, I find that some people, many times subconsiously, want the birth parents to fail so that they can adopt the child whom they love so much. In some ways, I do understand that. I adore this baby and I would love it if I was given the chance to adopt him. But more than that, I want his mom to get to be a mom.
Who wouldn't love this guy? He is... I could write a list about how wonderful he is and I will. But really those two words are the only requirements making someone worthy of love.
He is so happy, he loves to talk, he laughs when I sing crazy songs to him, he loves his toys, he's a charmer and has a way of making everyone fall for him. Every moment with him brings me a great peace; a completeness that I really can't explain.
Back to the meeting. She said hi. She talked to her child. And then before she walked to the room where she would have the supervised visit she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my baby." I smiled and nodded.
There was a sense of affirmation in that. I don't foster because I want to be affirmed. I do it because I really believed that God put that passion on my heart and that compelled me.
When I met her, she wasn't just a name on paper anymore. She is. She is a woman. She is a mom. She could be me under any different set of circumstances. And If I was in those circumstances that she is, I would want someone to do that for me.
This is grace in the realest way that I've ever experienced.
And I think this is why we as Christians struggle to love. We only see people that are different than us on paper. But if we confronted them face to face, we would be forced into reflection that it is only grace that has us where we are. For some reason, God saw fit to place us where we are, but I don't think He meant for us to hide there.
On paper.
But what is put down on paper really limits what we see of a person. Sure, we've all made mistakes, but don't we all want a second chance?
In some of my interactions, I find that some people, many times subconsiously, want the birth parents to fail so that they can adopt the child whom they love so much. In some ways, I do understand that. I adore this baby and I would love it if I was given the chance to adopt him. But more than that, I want his mom to get to be a mom.
Who wouldn't love this guy? He is... I could write a list about how wonderful he is and I will. But really those two words are the only requirements making someone worthy of love.
He is so happy, he loves to talk, he laughs when I sing crazy songs to him, he loves his toys, he's a charmer and has a way of making everyone fall for him. Every moment with him brings me a great peace; a completeness that I really can't explain.
Back to the meeting. She said hi. She talked to her child. And then before she walked to the room where she would have the supervised visit she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my baby." I smiled and nodded.
There was a sense of affirmation in that. I don't foster because I want to be affirmed. I do it because I really believed that God put that passion on my heart and that compelled me.
When I met her, she wasn't just a name on paper anymore. She is. She is a woman. She is a mom. She could be me under any different set of circumstances. And If I was in those circumstances that she is, I would want someone to do that for me.
This is grace in the realest way that I've ever experienced.
And I think this is why we as Christians struggle to love. We only see people that are different than us on paper. But if we confronted them face to face, we would be forced into reflection that it is only grace that has us where we are. For some reason, God saw fit to place us where we are, but I don't think He meant for us to hide there.
An Introduction
I have delayed writing this post for months. I didn't and still don't know where to start. I decided to jump in and just write even though it will be imperfect.
This is a part of my story and I'm so thankful and humbled as I look back over it. God has been so good to me.
About a year and a half ago I found myself standing before a really big life transition. One season was ending and I was struggling with what to do next. After much thinking and praying. I realized that my passion was for children. The more I read about foster care and witnessed it firsthand with my foster nieces and nephews, I realized that was it. I wanted to not just volunteer twice a month, I wanted to be in the middle of it.
In the state of Texas there are checks to make sure the foster parents are good citizens. Agencies do their best to determine if the homes they license are made up of loving people who genuinely want to care for children who have experienced trauma as a result of abuse, neglect and rejection. If you are genuine and pass the checks, as long as you are willing, you can foster. Good news for me!
I started the training in August, got a one bedroom duplex in September. Fixed it up, took CPR and First Aid, turned in a bunch of paperwork, bought a fire extinguisher, the Fire Marshall came and did an inspection, the health department came and did an inspection, I bought a crib and my sister-in-law gave me a bunch of other baby stuff and then she and my mother overwhelmed me with baby clothes. Finally, in the end of November a nice woman came and did the home study. This is the final check and a little more in-depth. They ask a lot of questions, look at your house and really just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. She seemed content with the answers and me as a person--so much pressure! Then she said it would be about a week until I could be licensed. Then it was another week and another one. Finally it was the end of December and the holidays. I guess this was not going to happen in 2015.
Rewind to January of 2015. I very rarely make resolutions, but this time I did. The number one resolution was to become licensed as a foster home. And this was finally a resolution that I worked hard to see through. I sat at my kitchen table on that Thursday afternoon, December 30th and resigned myself to the fact that I would just have to keep waiting and move on. It really wasn't the end of the world, but discouraging. Miracle of miracles, my phone notified me at 6:05 that I had an email from the agency. I opened it to the wonderful words that my home has officially been licensed and that they would now call me whenever they had a possible placement for me. I cried. Overwhelmed that God had heard my prayers and in such a simple thing like allowing this to come through after hours on the last workday of the year. I had made sacrifices, spent money, energy and tears on this venture and it was finally closer to becoming a reality.
This is a part of my story and I'm so thankful and humbled as I look back over it. God has been so good to me.
About a year and a half ago I found myself standing before a really big life transition. One season was ending and I was struggling with what to do next. After much thinking and praying. I realized that my passion was for children. The more I read about foster care and witnessed it firsthand with my foster nieces and nephews, I realized that was it. I wanted to not just volunteer twice a month, I wanted to be in the middle of it.
In the state of Texas there are checks to make sure the foster parents are good citizens. Agencies do their best to determine if the homes they license are made up of loving people who genuinely want to care for children who have experienced trauma as a result of abuse, neglect and rejection. If you are genuine and pass the checks, as long as you are willing, you can foster. Good news for me!
I started the training in August, got a one bedroom duplex in September. Fixed it up, took CPR and First Aid, turned in a bunch of paperwork, bought a fire extinguisher, the Fire Marshall came and did an inspection, the health department came and did an inspection, I bought a crib and my sister-in-law gave me a bunch of other baby stuff and then she and my mother overwhelmed me with baby clothes. Finally, in the end of November a nice woman came and did the home study. This is the final check and a little more in-depth. They ask a lot of questions, look at your house and really just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. She seemed content with the answers and me as a person--so much pressure! Then she said it would be about a week until I could be licensed. Then it was another week and another one. Finally it was the end of December and the holidays. I guess this was not going to happen in 2015.
Rewind to January of 2015. I very rarely make resolutions, but this time I did. The number one resolution was to become licensed as a foster home. And this was finally a resolution that I worked hard to see through. I sat at my kitchen table on that Thursday afternoon, December 30th and resigned myself to the fact that I would just have to keep waiting and move on. It really wasn't the end of the world, but discouraging. Miracle of miracles, my phone notified me at 6:05 that I had an email from the agency. I opened it to the wonderful words that my home has officially been licensed and that they would now call me whenever they had a possible placement for me. I cried. Overwhelmed that God had heard my prayers and in such a simple thing like allowing this to come through after hours on the last workday of the year. I had made sacrifices, spent money, energy and tears on this venture and it was finally closer to becoming a reality.
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