The Day

Barely over two weeks from being licensed, I received a phone call for a placement at 11am on a Friday. I had received 2 calls before, but when I received this one, I just knew I would get this one.
 The placement was confirmed at 4:30. There was some confusion as to when he would come, tonight, Monday, Tuesday... So I pulled out some fabric to make a blanket. It would be the first time I'd sewed anything in years, but when he came, I wanted to have a handmade blanket that I'd made just for him. No sooner had drug out all of the sewing stuff that they called to say they would be there at 8:30. I put it all back away and then pulled out all of the baby clothes.
The case worker arrived from my agency. She started going over paperwork. Then my most wonderful sister-in-law arrived with my 8-year old niece and a football snowsuit for baby (actually a warm suit, we live in south Texas, after all!). Soon the CPS caseworker arrived with a little baby in a car seat that overwhelmed his tiny body.
We filled out some more paperwork while my SIL held the baby and oohed and aahed over him and changed his diaper which almost turned out to be disastrous. While preparing for baby I had tried to think of everything I might need. Diaper rash cream, baby bathtub, bottles, toys, brush, clothes, sheets, towels, etc. I forgot to buy wipes. Only the fourth most important item after bottles, formula and diapers. Who forgets about wipes?? And when  you need them, you NEED them. Thankfully, my caseworker in her preparation of a gift bag had included wipes. Crisis averted and I was glad to not have to make a late-night Walmart run!
The caseworkers left. My sister-in-law stayed. We talked about foster care, paperwork and babies for hours. She gave me tons of advice which helped calm my overwhelmed heart. My niece sat by the baby and rocked him while we talked. She is so patient and sweet. A while later the baby was asleep and I wondered where my niece was, she was passed out on the recliner, I was 11:30, poor girl. How lucky am I to have family to spend their Friday evening helping me. They left and I picked up the crying baby. I rocked him and wondered what I got myself into.
My mom came the next day with several outfits and toys. She held the baby and I asked her a bunch of questions. I felt so small with such a huge job. My mom is good at being a mom. She raised 13 perfectly wonderful human beings. She is kind, patient, hard-working and just a really good person. I know I am nowhere near the woman she is, but I hope that I can still do good.
I'd say I'm getting the hang of being a mom. I'm also doing ok at completing all of the paperwork. Despite the sleepless nights, the doubts, the tears, I wouldn't trade one moment of this all. This is the greatest choice I've ever made. I know I'll never regret it although I'll be heartbroken when he leaves. I also know I'll be so happy knowing that I got to have him for a while and that he was loved well while he was with me.